Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Go and Be Reconciled

Here is another great question to ask when your having a conflict with someone: "How can I demonstrate forgiveness and encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?" There are several things that we can remember and practice that will help in resolving conflict:

Announcing God’s Grace
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave 
you (Ephesians 4:32).

Separate the offering of personal forgiveness from proclaiming God’s forgiveness. Begin by announcing God’s grace as promised in the Bible. Use Scripture passages and insert the person’s name into the verse to personalize it.

Our source for the forgiveness that we offer others flows from the forgiveness we have received from God through Jesus Christ (see 2 Corinthians 5:18-21).

Four Promises of Forgiveness
In response to God’s love for me and in reliance on his grace, I forgive you. With God’s help,
  • “I promise I will not dwell on this incident.”
  •  “I promise I will not bring this incident up and use it against you.”
  • “I promise I will not talk to others about this incident.”
  • “I promise I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”
When forgiving someone, tell them that the real source of their forgiveness is found is Jesus
Christ.

When you need to negotiate, PAUSE (Another helpful tool from the book Peacemaker by Ken Sande)
  • Prepare. (See Proverbs 14:8, 22.)
  • Affirm relationships. (See Ephesians 4:29.)
  • Understand interests. (See Philippians 2:3-4.)
  • Search for creative solutions. (See Proverbs 14:8.) 
  • Evaluate options objectively and reasonably. (See Psalm 111:10; Proverbs 12:15; Matthew 18:16.)

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